i have a 2 year old boy who is good and he behaves... for everyone but me. i talk to friends and they say things that do not help me at all."oh its just the terrible twos" or "he knows what buttons he can push and hes testing you" and my fave "he only does that because you're not whoopin his a**"
i look online and only find basic parenting classes. i want to know if there are classes to help parents with the same problem i have.

a fine example....

last week i had to spend a few nights at a friends house. one particular evening while they had company, he was really misbehaving. the house is not toddler proof, and he was getting into everything. i cleaned a few times a day but their kids would leave their toys out and get mad when my boy broke them or slobbered on them. one nite i just was exhausted. unbeknownst to me i was getting really sick, a day or so after that i ended up in the hospital for 5 days. at that point in time i was literally on E. and he was on 10. ransacking the place. i was getting embarassed because he was ignoring me when i corrected him, throwing tantrums, and he looked me in the eyes while i tried to put him in time out, and deliberately headbutted me in the nose! i felt it go soft, i saw stars i tell you... and my eyes puffed up instantly... i sat him down on the couch and popped him on the butt one good time. he screamed and went to throw himself back, i caught his head w my hand, and mugged him a little playfully...something i use as a distraction technique during such tantrums because i get lucky and he laughs at sometimes. i didnt know he would resist so hard and fall in the floor. i mean damn it was truly an honest mistake. he was not hurt because i was right there and my legs broke his fall. it looked bad and scared him, but ive been through it so many times i laughed when he tumbled on the floor, ignored his piteous cries and snapped angrily at him "thats what you get for being a little sh*t." yeah, i was at the end of my end, and people had to be there to see it. now the same people that said "sometimes they need that a** lit up" are spreading it around that im this crappy mom, that my kid runs over me and wont listen because i im mean to him.
part of me thinks theyre right!!! i feel like i dont know how to discipline him. i do find myself getting angry and frustrated, i think im starting to yell a lot. i mutter endless slews of cusswords and call him names through clenched teeth when hes screaming too loud to hear what i say. i cry when hes asleep because i hate myself for being glad hes gone to bed. he acts so unhappy with me. he cries when he sees me. hes so sweet to everybody else it kills me. i feel so horrible. i cant brush it off and say its just the terrible twos. i dunno what im doing wrong. i just want to feel like a real mom.

I'm sorry...that sounds so frustrating! It seems like there is always someone around to see it when you're at your lowest. :-( I don't know of any classes nearby, but some books that really helped me were Positive Discipline by Jane Nelsen (an overview of the positive discipline philosophy, why it works, how to connect with your kids, etc.), and Positive Discipline A-Z (this is like a reference where you can flip to B for Biting and get ideas).

Online, I really like these websites:

www.goybparenting.com
www.aolff.org
www.gentlechristianmothers.com

Even if you're not a Christian, these sites have really wonderful gentle discipline ideas. Hope that helps!